Just Trying To Live Life
by Evil-Angel-911
Summary: As they deal with the worries of life and the grieving of death, James Potter and Lily Evans explore their hearts to discover how love can guide a broken heart and soul. Chapter 3 now up!
1. Prolouge

Title: Just Trying to Live Life

Author: Evil-Angel-911

Summery: A normal version of Lily's life. Very true to the book. A lot of thought goes into what life might have been like for each character. Lily and James deal with the intricacies of life and the pain of dealing with another's death.

Disclaimer: I am not the genius that is JK Rowling. Any character you recognize is completely hers.

Chapter: Prologue

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_July 1st_

_Lily,_

_Hey! Remus and Peter are coming over tonight to hang out. Sirius, as you already know, is spending the summer with me. Things are really tough for him right now. I just hope everything turns out alright with him. Having the marauders together should cheer him up. Dad isn't home much so it's good having Sirius around. That guy, Voldemort and his little minions are starting to turn the wizarding world upside-down (and I mean in the worst way imaginable). Take care of yourself, ok? Don't doubt my knowledge of your abilities to take care of yourself but this guy is out of his mind. I don't want to see anyone hurt. Besides that nothing is really going on. How's your life without Hogwarts?_

_James_

_  
July 2nd_

_James,_

_I was so surprised to see your letter! I don't usually get too much mail since Maggie and Hera take vacations with there family in July. At least they bring me some souvenirs. Wish they would bring me. They leave me here with my stupid sister. Did I tell you about Petunia? Ok, before I start let me address your letter. I hope you guys are having fun. Wish I was there…but that's not going to happen. I need to work a summer job. I'm working at this restaurant as a waitress. It doesn't get very good business so I don't get paid too much but it's a job. Tell Sirius that I say he's a big strong man and that will make him even more of a lady killer when we get back to Hogwarts… wait don't tell him that. His head is big enough. Give him my best wishes. Sounds like Voldemort is giving your dad and the other aurors a lot of trouble. I've been reading the paper. I'm really thankful to be seventeen. Now I can do magic. I already put a protection charm on my house and a few other things to keep out… lets just say unwanted visitors, magical and muggle. I'll be fine daddy. I promise to be careful. Oh! I was going to tell you about Petunia. Yeah, that's my sister. I envy your only child self. Petunia is such an annoying person! She beats you! Ha-ha just kidding buddy, no one could beat you. She just hates the idea of magic. Anything abnormal is horrible to her… and her evil boyfriend. Ug! His name is Vernon and he looks at me like a piece of meat when Petunia isn't looking and like an annoying bug when she is. He gives me the creeps either way. Besides Petunia, things are good. My mom is teaching me how to cook the old muggle way and I'm showing her some stuff I learned in school. She and my dad are so entertained by the wingardium leviosa. Let's just say Petunia isn't. Well, write back soon!_

_Lily_

_  
July 3rd_

_Lils,_

_Hey doll! Ha-ha, who are you to say I'm annoying? You're the one who wrote me an ESSAY! I was surprised you wrote back. You never replied to anything I wrote to you last summer. Probably because I was an immature git. I'm not saying I'm mature now, because with Sirius around, you have to have some child in your heart. We boys are having a blast here. We have big plans for this next year. If you ever have a chance, come on over. It would be good to catch up. What's the name of the restaurant you work at because I may just have to give you a HUGE tip. Aw, I miss having your girls around! Now the only female companionship around is Sirius. Speaking of the boys, they all say hi. They're staying until the 10th. What days do you have off from work? We could pop over and save you from your sister and her creepy boyfriend. Peter finally passed his apparition test this morning so now we can all aparate over on a moments notice. Feel free to pop over here. One of us will be around. Check the kitchen that would be your best shot at finding us. Well, I should finish up before Peter breaks something again._

_James_

_  
July 5th_

_James,_

_Hey I have off tomorrow if you want to drop by. Sorry this is so short. Been extremely busy. Write back with your response soon._

_Lily_

_  
July 5th_

_Lily,_

_We'll be there._

_James_

_  
July 7th_

_James,_

_Thank you guys SO MUCH for coming. It was such a change of pace. I would have been so bored without you. Sorry about the interrogation from my parents. I've never had guys over the house let alone four. I think it's funny how much Remus and Sirius enjoyed the TV. Well, As much as I'd like you to write another essay for you, I took a second job for a few weeks so I have no time to talk. Write back even if I don't reply. I love mail! I'll write back whenever I can. _

_The Flower  
_

_July 10th_

_Lils,_

_Hey flower. The boys just left and I thought I'd finally reply. We played quidditch most of today. Remus was keeper (he's pretty good) and Sirius and Peter were against me. I won because Sirius is a ball hog. It explains why he plays beater at school. He would make a good seeker if he wasn't so big. I'm glad Sirius can't read this over my shoulder (he's in the kitchen as usual) for he'd scream in protest "I AM NOT BIG! I HAVE A DANTY FIGURE!" and he'd do it while shoving chocolate cake down his throat. Speaking of chocolate cake, I'm going to go get some before Sirius eats it all. Don't worry about me though; I will keep my dainty figure._

_James_

_  
July 14th_

_Lily,_

_Your boss must be working you like a dog. Not even a reply after a joke about Sirius. I really hope you're getting good tips. We'll drop by your restaurant later in the week. My dad is taking off tomorrow so Sirius and I are spending the day with him. I've really missed him around the house. I mean, it's only me and Sirius around now… but I guess that's better than just me. I think having Sirius around make my dad feel better about working all the time. I miss him though. Before all this "You-Know-Who" stuff he didn't have to work so much. When did Voldemort become so scary that we had to call him "he-who-must-not-be-named"? Calling him that just makes matters worse in my opinion. God, why is everything about Voldemort nowadays? It's people like him that make me want to become an auror. Hope you find some time for me in your life._

_James_

_  
July 15th_

_James,_

_I am SOOOOOO sorry I haven't written sooner. I like warned you, my jobs are crazy. Our family is a little short on money right now. My mom's sister is having some health problems. It's kind of sad. All that's left of my family is my sister, my parents and my aunt. My family is so small. I love visiting Hera for that reason alone. Her family is so big. Everywhere you go there is a cousin or an uncle. I can't wait for her to get back. Hera, Maggie and I are going to have a girl's night out. We're going to hit some dance clubs. I LOVE to dance. It's so fun: the heat, the intensity, the crowd, the EVERYTHING! Don't see me as the clubbing type huh? I don't think many do. I hope you got your slice of cake before Sirius got it… but I doubt you got there fast enough. It's good your dad is home. He deserves a break. From what you've told me it's been nuts. I don't get the whole not saying Voldemort thing either. Stupid in my opinion. Work is hectic and things are interesting. I don't like my boss… I think I should stop there. He makes me feel really uncomfortable. I'm the only girl at my second job. I work at this grocery store in my town and … it's hard being the only girl. It's really …awkward would fit I guess… I don't want to talk about it though. I hope to see you soon bud._

_The busy flower_

_  
July 18th_

_JAMES! _

_Oh My God! Thank you so much! It was awesome for you to come and visit. Where was Sirius? Oh and attached is some money. I think you didn't realize how much the transaction of money in muggle terms you left. You made my day by coming!_

_Lils_

_  
July 19th_

_Flower,_

_Your letter made me laugh. Sure the food wasn't so good but the service was amazing. You look good in your little apron thing. Black and white, reminds me of Hogwarts uniform a little. Was I dressed muggle enough? I left Sirius at home because I worried there might be an all-you-can-eat bar or something and I didn't want to put your employer out of business. But let's talk about your last letter a bit. Yeah, you have more family than me at least. The Potter line ends up only have one child and then marrying others with no siblings… and they have boys every time. I don't think that trend has been broken since the 1600's. And I know you're uncomfortable about it… just by what you wrote but what is wrong with your grocery job? They aren't making fun of you are they? I just want to make sure you're ok. Don't work too hard._

_James  
_

_July 20th_

_James,_

_I… I can't tell you in a letter. I don't think I would be able to tell you in person. But if you want to try…I'm free tomorrow. Can I come over? I don't want my family to know… or Sirius for that matter._

_Lily  
_

_July 20th_

_Lils,_

_Come anytime._

_J  
_

_July 23rd_

_James,_

_I took your advice. I quit. You were right. I shouldn't have to deal with that. I reported him to the police. They are doing an investigation. At the very least he will be fired or sent to counseling. I just hope he doesn't blame me for it. That could be trouble. I just hope I did the right thing. I have to get another job. I hope I can find one._

_L  
_

_July 24th_

_L,_

_Why not go for an internship at the ministry. Sirius and I might do it some time next week if you want to come with us. A bunch of spots are open. Your good at charms, maybe you can work in Hera's dad's department, accidental magic reversal. Sirius wants to go for the sports but that's so competitive. I'm seeing if I can get a desk job for the one of the aurors, just so I can see what sort of thing that do and maybe see a little more of my dad. Aurors do a lot of fieldwork now-a-days though so I probably wouldn't. I miss my dad… that must sound really stupid but I do. I just never see him you know. Sometimes I feel like he's dead. If it wasn't for the fact that he came home to get 5 hours of sleep every night I would think he left me. I don't know what I'd do without him. He's taking off a full week next month. They think a new kid will be trained up by then so they offered him the time. He's so tired. He has these huge bags under his eyes. I wouldn't blame him if he slept the whole week. I'll send this now in hope you write back soon._

_J  
_

_July 25th_

_J,_

_I'm extremely interested. Just tell me the time and date. Enclosed I have some charms instructions to help your dad with his tiredness. I used them during OWLs when I had a full month of 3 hours of sleep a night. It's not a substitute but it helps make life a little easier. Give Sirius and your father my best. I have some days off coming up so maybe we can hang out and go apply. Well, let me update you on life here. My dad just came home from the doctors and he has really high blood pressure so the doctor is concerned. He's on this strict diet now but I saw him sneaking some of my mom's FAMOUS chocolate chip cookies the other day. My dad was never one to diet. I wish he would take it seriously though. He's way over what he should be. My mom is doing pretty good. She's taking August off work so we can catch up before I go back to Hogwarts. Petunia and Vernon are still going strong. It will be there 3 year anniversary on the 30th. I'm wondering why they don't just get married because they are both so boring that they belong together. I know why though, Petunia believes that you should date for 4 years before marriage because it's what she thinks is proper. Obviously, I also don't fit her description of proper either. Write back soon. I'm bored stiff without you guys around._

_L  
_

_July 26th_

_L,_

_Are you free the 31st? We could hit the ministry then. I can go reserve some spots for interviews and stuff. I'll get all the details. Just give me the word._

_J_

_Ps. Hey Lils, it's Sirius, I intercepted his owl. Wow you have my boy whipped!  
_

_July 27th_

_J,_

_Yeah, he 31st is perfect. I'll be over around 10 if that's ok. Tell Sirius that he's absolutely positively right._

_L  
_

_August 1st_

_J,_

_That was so great! With the pay they are offering me for the internship, I can quit my waitressing job. It's only for a few weeks so it's perfect. You have such great ideas James thanks! Congratulations to you and Sirius on getting your internships too._

_L  
_

_August 4th_

_L,_

_I LOVE working with you. I never realized how closely the reversal squad and aurors work with each other. I hope you're enjoying your job (I know I am__). Maybe you me and Sirius can start meeting up on lunch breaks. Find me tomorrow and we'll talk about it._

_J  
_

_August 8th_

_James,_

_I need someone to talk to. Can I come over tomorrow?_

_Lils  
_

_August 8th_

_Lils,_

_You're always welcome at my house. Come on over but we have to be quiet, this is my dad's week off._

_James  
_

_August 10th_

_J,_

_Thanks for letting me come over. I just needed someone to vent to about my sister and to talk to about my parents and my aunt. I didn't know my aunt well but I mean now it's such a small amount of my family left. Thanks for your comforting words about my dad too. My mom's even more worried than me. They are so in love. Our family would be so lost without him. You always know the right words to say when I'm upset James, thanks._

_Lils  
_

_August 11th_

_Lil,_

_Whenever you need me I'm here._

_J.  
_

_August 15th_

_James,_

_Oh My God. We're having girl's night right now and I just wanted to brag since you told me about the marauder party before. We're leaving for the clubs in a few hours and the girls have already started primping so I have time to write. Well, we all look fantastic. Maggie got these cool glasses. They are so cute. She got them one her visit to America. They look so nice on her! Hera looks perfect as always. I'm so jealous of the tan she got in Italy and the gelato she got there for that matter. I can not wait to get our school letters. I miss Hogwarts now! I really wonder whose going to be head. I hope I get it. Well, see you at work. _

_Lils  
_

_August 15th_

_L,_

_We're having a boy's night too. We're hitting some bars and stuff. It should be fun. We're just going to catch up. I will probably be carrying a passed out Sirius home, Remus will handle carrying Peter. Wish us luck staying out of trouble._

_J  
_

_August 17th_

_J,_

_Aw the girls just left this morning and I already miss them. We still have tomorrow before we go back to work. Wanna hang out?_

_L.  
_

_August 17th_

_L,_

_Hell yeah. I'll be there at noon._

_J.  
_

_August 19th_

_L._

_Ok, Movies are the most amazing muggle thing ever! It's better than television! Thanks for bringing me. I wanted to try something new._

_Jamesie-boy  
_

_August 20th_

_Jamesie-boy?_

_I think I'll keep that name going. Yeah, the movie wasn't too bad. Not all movies are good. I saw one that was so bad that I walked out half an hour in. You would probably laugh at how bad it was._

_The flower  
_

_August 21st_

_Lily, _

_I think I would like any movie. It's just so big and cool and loud and the pop corn YUM! Well Sirius has been making good use of the quidditch pitch at my house lately. He's getting back in beater shape because he's harmed his dainty figure with empting the fridge every night. I've been…_

James never finished the letter as there was a sharp knock on the front door. "YOU GET IT!" was Sirius' response. Hearing the rain pounding on the roof James wondered who would be crazy enough to be coming at this time. He rushed to the door trying to save the person from completely drenching themselves. He opens it and light floods onto a pale face of a girl, no, a woman.

Her porcelain skin was white and smooth. She had rims of red beneath her eyes. She was staring at her feet and dared not look from them, as if when she looked away her feet would no longer be there. He long lashes we soaked with a mixture of tears and rain. She wore no coat and did not seem to feel the rain drops pound upon her bare shoulders. Her hair lay stuck against her sorrowful face. Finally after a few moments she turned her emerald eyes to meet James's hazel. "I didn't know where else to turn." Lily finally muttered softly.

Without hesitation, James stepped out into the rain. Not caring he was not wearing a coat, or a shirt for the matter. All that he cared about was her. He held her close to his chest. She looked up into his face. "He's gone. My father is gone." Movies were no longer important.

!#$&()(&$#!#$&()(&$#!#$&()(&$#!

I hope you all like the story so far. I don't know why but I just got inspired to start a new story all of a sudden.

Like it? Hate it? RATE IT! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

Much Love All!

Melissa


	2. The Funeral

The sun made a mockery of the morose yard. A large black tent was pitched, the sides of which were flapping slightly in the wind. On one of the flaps bore the Evans family crest stitched in multi-colored splendor. The crest was something to see. The top most part was a large regal looking eagle. The white and gold threads that made up its feathers drew attention against the blackness of the tent. As your eyes moved down onto the green wreath the bird stood on, the intricacies of the needlework could be appreciated. Every vane of every leaf was painstakingly stitched into the tent flap. On the shield was a collection of flowers surrounded by a large assortment of animals: fox, bear, dogs, deer, and many other things that could be found at the Evans vacation cottage. Finally, the base held the motto: _amo abdera aevum_. The letters were of an assortment of colors slowly transitioning from red to gold to silver to yellow to bronze to green to blue and finally to white. The crest was not of enormous size but one could recognize the hard work and time spent constructing the medium sized embellishment.

The cottage was silent. One head was bowed at the kitchen table, tears streaming silently down her face. One head was looking into the mirror, fixing up the foundation for her soon to be painted face. The final head gazed straight ahead, into the burning embers of the new fire. In her arms, she hugged close to her a bible for comfort. After waking up from a horrid night of nightmares, she had crept silently down into the living area and read various passages: mostly just her favorites and those that had been her father's favorites. Someway through her reading, her mom had entered and lit the fire, creating a reddish glow and a feeling of warmth. The warmth crept slowly towards Lily from the fireplace. When it finally reached her, she closed her eyes in pleasure. The warmth brought her so many memories: Memories of long nights telling scary stories, memories of short days roasting marshmallows and opening Christmas gifts, memories of cold nights when her father would wrap her tight in his arms until she fell asleep to the crackling of the fire and the sound of his steady breathing next to her ear. Hugging the book tightly to her chest she scrunched up tight in the armchair and smiled slightly at the good memories she had of her father.

He hesitated at the door step. No cars stood in the drive and he feared he had possibly come too early, misreading the letter. He pulled out the letter, rereading it for the 7th time that day.

_James,_

_I'm in such a state. My mother has nearly gone mute and my sisters does nothing but latch onto her boyfriend's arm or scream at me for something or other. I don't know how much more of this I can stand. The funeral is on Sunday. I would appreciate it if you came at 7am. I know the invitation says 9 but please arrive at 7. _

_Lily._

James peered down at his watch. His parents had given him a highly priced Astronomy watch similar to the one Dumbledore wore often but James refused to wear it. He could not tell the time using that thing. Thankfully, Remus has purchased him a muggle watch for Christmas. The hands read 6:59. With one last glace down at the note in his hand and a quick look behind him, he knocked carefully and quietly upon the door of the seemingly deserted cottage.

A familiar voice yelled, "I got it," within the house. Before he could say quidditch, James was face to face with the girl he had been dreaming of all summer. Her face pale but her green eyes shinning as brilliant as ever, stood the object of his affection: Lily Evans. "Hi," she said shyly, becoming suddenly very interested in James's shoes. Without a thought in his mind, James stepped forward and wrapped Lily in his arms. He held her tight to his body and let her bury her head in his chest.

Lily felt as if time stopped during their hug. He was holding her so tight, she felt so safe and right, that she felt that the embrace would never end. She felt as if when he let go of her, she would fall to the ground. She took a deep breath through her nose and took in his scent. She closed her eyes. He smelt like the woods and campfire. She pulled him tighter, trying to squash the air out of her own lungs just so she could be closer to him. He was so warm and solid. She could feel his toned body against hers. He rubbed her back tracing his fingers around her spin. Goosebumps began to form on her arms. The hug was becoming too much. She pulled away.

"How are you feeling?" asked James in an extremely concerned tone.

Lily shrugged, lifting her eyes to meet his. He looked tired. And he was. "I'm ok I guess. Are you ok? You look exhausted."

He had spent the last week worrying about Lily. Was she ok? How was her family? Was she having nightmares? Was she depressed? Did she need a hug? The last of the questions had been on his mind most recently. Hence the reason he gave her the hug.

"I'm fine. Just haven't been sleeping well."

They continued to stand in silence. James felt very awkward standing on the porch of the house. Lily noticed his awkwardness. "Oh! Come on in. I'm so rude. I'm so sorry." She looked down again.

James shook his head and tilted her chin back up to meet his eyes. "Lily, keep your head up. Things will be ok. I'm here right now and I'm here to stay ok? For however long you need me here, just say the word." He gave her a small smile which she returned weakly.

Lily took a step back to allow James entrance to the cottage. The entry way was overwhelmed with flowers. The aroma was quite over whelming. Lily looked at James's awed state. "My father had a lot of friends."

James nodded. Lily led him into the living room where the embers of the fire were still burning brightly. As Lily added more wood to the fire, James finally allowed himself to take in her appearance. She looked fantastic. She wore a knee length black dress. It was velvet and had a flower pattern in a very dark gray on her right hip. Her hourglass figure was flaunted by the flare at the leg and V neck cut of the dress. The thin spaghetti straps which held up the dress lay comfortably upon her shoulders. He allowed himself a brief glance at her chest and felt his pants grow slightly tighter. He privately damned his well fitting muggle suit and tried to calm himself. 'I think she's grown,' he thought to himself smiling on the inside. His gaze moved down. His gaze followed her every curve, worshipping her body with his eyes. As Lily began to turn he switched his sight to the picture on the mantle thanking the gods Lily did not see him checking her out.

She looked at him with a sad smile. He shifted his gaze to meet her eyes. They just looked at each other for a while. Lily's smile widened. It continued to grow. Soon she was laughing and collapsed into the armchair closest to her. James was officially confused. He figured he'd never understand women. He walked over to her somewhat concerned. He knelt besides her chair and tried to lock eyes with her. "Are you ok? Did you cast an over powerful cheering charm on yourself or something?"

After taking in a few deep breathes, Lily was able to control herself. She continued to smile into his eyes. "You really grew up," She said bluntly. "I owe Remus five galleons."

"What?!?" said James seating himself on the arm of Lily's chair.

"I made a bet with Remus in fifth year that I would never live to see you grow up," Her smile widened more, "and you did god damn you. Now I'm gunna have to pay him."

James put a hand dramatically to his chest. "So our whole relationship has been about a bet?" he said very over the top.

Lily let out a small giggle before dropping to her knees before his feet. "Oh Jamsie! I am so sorry! How can I ever make it up to you?"

"Well, you're in a good position to…."

"I won't recommend finishing that sentence Potter," said Lily seriously as she got up from the floor.

James offered her a hand which she happily accepted. "I was only joking Lily."

"That's good," she said sliding back into the armchair.

"But I wouldn't mind if…." He was silenced by a punch on the arm. He smiled. "Have you been lifting weights or something? Your punch has gotten a lot stronger since that time last May when I charmed Rosier's pudding to run away from him."

"Well, I have been working out. Doing a self-defense course. It's a muggle course"

"How does that work? They can't teach you the sort of stuff we learn in defense can they?" He really hadn't paid much attention in muggle studies. He only knew how to dress like a muggle but that was just from taking a few trips to London with his Mom and Dad when he was younger.

Lily stood to her feet. "I can show you what they taught me if you like?"

"Sure." James said shrugging. 'How much can a muggle defense class do?' he thought to himself.

He followed her out the door and back to the front yard. Looking around he was unnerved to see that no cars had arrived yet. Was no one else showing up? They continued to walk out onto the grass until Lily turned and faced him.

"Ok, now come at me like you are going to rob me or something." She said a small smile playing on her lips.

Shrugging, he ran towards her with arms forward. Within seconds he was in the air and the next second he was on the ground. He looked up into Lily's face in confusion. "Um… how'd I get down here? What spell is that?"

Lily laughed a little. "I flipped you over my shoulder. No spell, just good old fashion muggle fighting." James sat on the ground, a little embarrassed that he had just gotten bested by a girl. Lily offered him her hand and he gladly accepted. "I guess you're not too proud to get beaten by a girl."

"Oh, I am," replied James, taking to his feet, "but that's one hell of a trick." James leaned forward towards her ear and whispered, "Can you do that to Sirius next time you see him? I want to watch what it looks like when you do it to someone else." Lily let out a soft laugh and nodded her head.

They were silent for a while. They were standing relatively close still. He was staring at her as she stared at her shoes. She stood stock still for a few minutes, just pretending to be interested in her shoes. Then he saw it drop. Most people would not have seen it but when you're childhood play toy is a snitch, you see things. He saw the tear drop from her chin to the ground beneath her feet. He looked at her shaking shoulders. After a deep breath he enveloped her in another hug but she pushed him away. "Lily?"

"No," she said in defense, "I should be strong enough to grieve on my own." She met his hazel eyes with her watery green ones. "I shouldn't have asked you to come this early." More tears began to fall down her cheeks. "I don't deserve to be happy today."

A dawn of comprehension passed over James's face. "That's what this is about?" he asked. She nodded. He laughed lightly as he reached forward to wipe the tears off her cheeks. "Would your father want you to be unhappy?" he cupped her face in his hands. She closed her eyes and shook her head no. Without a word, she stepped forward into James chest and let tears stream down her face.

After a few seconds, she pulled back, wiping the tears from her face. "Come on." She said grabbing his hand and pulling him after her. "Let's just go inside." James complied and followed the pulled of his hand. His hand tingled with her touch. He had to suppress the urge to blush. 'What are you Potter? A Girl?' rang Sirius's voice within James's mind. He concealed a grin as he followed Lily through the front door.

"Oh, by the way, where is your mom? I want to say hello." He peered around the hallway, hoping to see a glimpse of Mrs. Evans blond hair.

Lily looked around looking a bit uncomfortable. "She's in the kitchen but…." Lily fell silent at the sound of the kitchen door squeaking open. She looked to see James disappear behind the door. "James wait!"

James peered around the kitchen in search for the blonde bob he knew belonged to Lily's mother. It appeared to be charmed to the kitchen table. He walked over with concern. Certainly Lily had not glued her mother's forehead to the table. He was startled to see her shoulders shaking. He heard the door squeak open but ignored it. He crept towards Mrs. Evans and slowly slid himself into the chair beside her. With careful ease, he lifted Mrs. Evans's face from the table and guided her into his chest which she clung to for dear life. Without hesitation, James began to rub her back and whisper words of comfort into her ear.

He knew what to say. He knew how to say it. He knew how it felt.

Lily watched him from the door. Tears silently slid down her cheeks at the sight. Her mother, her proud mother, was broken. She feared no amount of super glue would help her. She looked thinner. She looked weaker. She looked sad. This was not the woman that Lily had looked up to as a child. This was a distorted version on the super-woman, the super-mom she had created in her mind. Now Lily had to face reality… and it hurt. Lily took in a deep breathe and slowly released it along with her tears.

James looked up at Lily. He could not believe anyone could look so beautiful with tears running without restraint. Her eyes were puffy, her cheeks were red, her nose was rosy, her lip bitten to hold back noise. Lily met his eyes. No hint of smile lingered in her eyes as it had when she opened the door to him earlier that day.

Carefully, James lifted Mrs. Evans into his arms, his arms behind her back and in the crook of her knees. She continued to cling to his shirt. She held her gently yet firm enough to be comforting. It had been his mother that had taught him how to comfort a person. Mrs. Potter had enveloped her son into a hug and whispered softly into his ear, "If you want a person to feel better, you hold them softly enough to give them space to heal but firm enough to let them know your heart is with them" Mrs. Potter had hugged her son to her as tightly as her petite arms would allow and her son had returned the comforting squeeze. Now, he held another mother in his arms in the comforting way he had held his own mother, the way he had been held.

He walked towards the door leading to the hallway. Lily passed through the door understanding his intentions. He followed her up the stairs and down another short hallway. She stopped at a door at the end of the hall and opened it. James entered and approached the bed in the corner. The room was filled with candles and flowers and cards, no doubt of sympathy for Mrs. Evans's loss. Lily moved forward to the bed and pulled back the covers. James, with care, placed the thin blonde in his arms onto the bed. She immediately released him and began to cry into a pillow instead, gripping it instead for support. Lily lifted the blankets back over her mother. James watched as she moved to the alarm clock beside the bed and set it for an hour later. He moved towards Lily who stood frozen at the bedside and placed a hand upon her shoulder. Together they left the room, closing the door behind them softly.

As they moved down the all, suddenly a door sprang open and slammed against the wall. The pair's heads turned so fast a crack was heard. Behind the now open door stood a primped and primed Petunia. Loudly she said, "Oh, you're here." This statement was followed by a "Shhhhhh," from Lily.

"We just brought mom back to bed. She'll probably cry herself into another nap in a few minutes," Lily said in a hushed voice. "She didn't sleep a wink last night. Try to be quiet for a while."

"But guests will be arriving soon!" said Petunia in a not so hushed tone. "Who's going to play host? It's not dignified for her to not greet them."

Lily gave her sister a look. "I don't think people will care much about being dignified today. As long as mom doesn't wear white or not show up at all, no one will have any objections."

"Fine, I'll greet them then. But if our reputation is ruined by this, I will blame you." Petunia crossed her arms and moved to enter her room once more.

"Today is not a day to be worried about how we look Petunia." Lily said only slightly above a whisper. Petunia's door closed in her face.

James and Lily continued back to the living room where they sat together on the floor, their backs leaning against the couch back. "I'm sorry about her," Said Lily looking down.

James lifted her head up again. "What did I say about apologizing?" Lily smiled through her tears. "You aren't responsible for her actions so you should not apologize for them."

"You didn't need to see that though. If I hadn't asked you to come so early…."

"Then you would have had to deal with her alone." James cupped Lily's face with both hands. "I am not here because you need me here. I am here because I want you to not have to go through this alone."

He released her face, both his hands and her cheeks tingling for the tough of the other's skin. Lily adjusted her position so that her head was in his lap. He began to stroke her hair. "Thank you." She said softly, closing her eyes to the feel of his hands working through her long hair.

He pushed his fingers through her hair. His pulse raced from it. 'How can the mere feel of her hair between my fingers make me feel like this?' James asked himself. He fingered her curls and unknotted any knots. Any time he discovered a knot, he would smile. It was nice to know that she was not perfect. He massaged her head in a way that made her eyes flutter open. It was not an erotic moment nor was it uncomfortable; it was neither an act of arousal nor an attempt to distract. It was a moment that can not be explained. With tears still in her green eyes and smile on his face as he played with her knotted hair, nothing could describe the moment. Both were completely at peace in a world that felt anything but peaceful.

They stayed in this position for about a half an hour, only moving after the third chime of the doorbell signaling the arrival of the third guest. Lily sat back up, a slight glint of happiness in her eyes now. "He would want me to be happy." She said to James.

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By noon, all the family and friends had assembled themselves in the tent in the back yard. In the front row sat the short list of immediate family members. Lily sat between her mother and Aunt Kathy, her sister on the other side of her mother, clutching her oversized boyfriend for dear life. Lily's Aunt was a very petite woman with wispy blonde hair. Extremely fair and thin, her bones were visible under her pale skin. She had no curves to speak of. It was understandable though. She had cancer… and wasn't expected to live another year.

It had been a difficult thing just to bring her to the funeral. She had been laying in bed for the past few weeks on the doctor's orders. She was loosing more and more strength as the disease took hold. Her once healthy body became overly thin. She had large bags under her eyes. Her once glowing face was now dimmed with jutting cheek bones and tired eyes.

Lily held her hand. The bones were easily felt in her hand. Lily held very softly, afraid to hurt her. She had always loved her aunt. She was very close with her father. The two had been best friends. She was her mother's sister. Her aunt, her mother, and her father had all gone to college together. Kathy had actually been the one to put Eleanor and Robert together. She was a strong individual- very artistic, very supportive, very generous, and very inspiring. She was very accepting of Lily's place in the wizarding world. She had actually been the one to come with Lily to Diagon Alley. Robert and Eleanor had believed the letter to be a joke. Once in Diagon Alley, Kathy ran from store to store, looking as excited to see magical equipment as wizards were to see a simple thing such as an ATM. Lily loved Kathy.

The funeral swept by in a flurry of tears and speeches. James sat respectfully in the fourth row next to a sniffling balding man in a suit he assumes knew Mr. Evans through work. He could see clearly Lily's seat and the speech podium. His eyes had remained mostly on Lily as he absorbed the words being said about such a fine man. Soon, he know, would be Lily's turn to speak. He saw her head down and cocked and had to suppress a smile. She was thinking, she always cocked her head when she was thinking, looked down when she was really nervous.

As he expected, three minutes later, she made her way to the podium. She looked drained yet beautiful. Her face was pale yet composed. On the inside, Lily felt anything but composed. She looked out at a small sea of faces, the faces of the people who loved her father. She took a few deep breathes and stared down at the speech Petunia had told her to read. She let the speech paper fall to the floor and tried to find a focus point to speak to. Seeing that the entire room was looking at her, she figured pretending that she was just speaking to one person may help. Hazel caught her eye in the fourth row as James gave her a supportive smile. 'Focus Lily', she thought to herself,' just tell James about your dad.'

With a final breath, she began to speak, keeping eye contact with James to ease her nerves. "I love my dad. I always have and I always will. Nothing will ever change that. I will miss him as I always had when I'm away at school or when I would wait for him at the breakfast table in the mornings at home. I always waited for him at breakfast because he knew the perfect way to pour my orange juice. Sounds weird right? Talking about orange juice at a funeral? But I think that's the way dad would like it. I know right now he's laughing at me saying that he poured it best because 'he was special at that sort of thing' as he used to tell me. So he can't pour it anymore but he was special at that sort of thing no doubt. He tucked me in the bed the best; he cooked the best bacon; he put the perfect amount of salt on fries. He was a special person. My father, Robert, has given me life and touched mine and many of your lives as well. I thank you for being here to honor the man who poured the best orange juice and always will. One day, we'll all meet up with him at a breakfast table for his famous OJ and bacon. It may not be the one in my kitchen but the moment will be special. Until then, we'll just have to eat breakfast with normal bacon and juice. I love my dad and I know that he did and always will know it."

Lily stepped down from the podium with some people crying, some smiling, and all clapping at her representation of her father. She took her seat next to her aunt and mother and broke into silent tears streaming uncontrollably down her face.

James stayed glued to his seat feeling a strong urge to have a glass of orange juice and get a hug.

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Swinging back and forth on the swing hanging on her favorite tree, Lily watched the sunset. Her father had built the swing when they had moved into the house. Lily remembered looking out the window many times as a child to see her mother and father stealing kisses in the dusk light. She was shaken from her thinking when a weight was placed besides her on the swinging bench. She turned to see James sitting by her. He was watching the sunset too. She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder and they shared as a comfortable, swinging silence as the sun slipped past the mountains and the stars inched their way into the darkening sky.

As the last traces of the sun disappeared James spoke softly. "They are probably missing you inside."

Lily nuzzled closer. "I couldn't be in there any longer." She felt him nod, his gaze still on the mountains in the darkness before them.

Inside the house were the funeral attendants milling around, swapping memories of the late Mr. Evans. Petunia waddled around with an arm full of food playing hostess to the 'party'. Her mother sat silently at the table, staring blankly at the closest talking person as Aunt Kathy gently rubbed her bony fingers against her back. It was too painful to watch the charade of Petunia and the fall of her mother.

James wrapped his arms round Lily and held her close. He wanted nothing more than to take her pain away. He'd lost as well… but today he was to focus upon Lily. He was her rock- her warm fuzzy rock with a really comfortable shoulder.

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"She'll marry him," her mother said softly to Kathy was they gazed at Lily and James out of the window. It was the first thing she had uttered in hours.

Kathy smiled. "That would make me happy. That would make them happy."

Eleanor Evans nodded. "Robert would like him."

!#$&()(&$#!#$&()(&$#!

Well, that's chapter two. I've been writing it forever but I like the result. Hope you enjoyed it. I'm trying to write this story with as much planning and emotional play as possible. I like the James I'm creating but he may be a little to … Remus like? Idk. Tell me your opinions!

much love!

Melissa


	3. September 1st

"Mum! Mum! Mum!" Yelled a seven-year old boy from the back seat of a Minivan passing through London. He stared slack jawed pointing out the window.

"John! John! John! See how annoying that is?" Said his mother, not even looking over her shoulder at her son. They had been stuck in traffic trying to get to Kings Cross for a half hour now and she had had about enough of her son's random spottings out the window.

"But MUM!" said John insistently pointing out the window. "That Motorbike…"

"Is red? Is that it Johnny? Is it another red motorcycle?" The mom rolled her eyes. "Just be quite John. We're almost there. I'd like to have some peace before we pick up your grandmother." She sighed deeply and said under her breathe, "Would have been nice of your father to pick up his own mother but noooo, he wants me to have a bit of bonding time with her while sitting up to my ears in traffic."

Johnny looked out the window once more. "But…"

"Enough!" She said cutting him off.

Johnny sat silently watching the red motorbike pass through traffic, not weaving between cars but flying over them.

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"Muggles don't notice nothing do they?" said Sirius removing his black helmet and flipping his hair out of his eyes. A few passing girls looked over interestedly. He gave them a quick smile.

James removed his own red helmet. "Guess not. Most don't look up much while stuck in traffic though. We really should look into getting that secrecy button fixed on there."

"What'd be the fun in that?" Said Sirius pushing his bike between cars. James turned to face the street and gave a quick nod. Sirius, with a quick flick, soundlessly shrank his bike. Picking it up, he slipped it into his pocket. "Don't tell me you're going soft on me?"

James elbowed him in the ribs as they moved towards the entrance of the station. "Would I ever?"

"I don't know," said Sirius. "A certain red-head may be able to whip you onto the straight and narrow." James pushed him hard causing Sirius to have to do some fancy footwork to avoid running to an older woman pushing a large cart. "Hey!" he said getting back in step with James. "Don't get violent just because it's true. Plus that piece of metal you get to pin to your robes won't help your pranking either."

James patted his pocket for what felt like the 20th time that morning to ensure he had not lost his head boy badge. "As if a title can stop a marauder. Never stopped Remus!"

"But Remus was never infatuated with his fellow red headed prefect," said Sirius teasingly.

"Just admit it Sirius, you think Lily's brilliant," said James, turning to follow the signs for platforms 9 through 14.

"She's not a bad chic yeah. And she's not bad on the eyes either but in no way, shape, or form am I as whipped as you by her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked James confusedly.

"Means you'd do anything for her mate? She can ask for anything and you'd do it? This whole summer you've been running all over London to make her happy- visiting her at work, getting her an internship, going to the funeral."

"I wanted to do all that."

"Yeah," said Sirius, "because she's Lily."

"And?" asked James, lining up with the barrier.

"You change for her. You're… I don't even believe I'm saying it, a gentleman for her, a straightedge guy! I mean think about it. Would you have done all that for Joyce Bulstrode?"

James pulled a face. "Ew no! She's a cow!"

"Lily could make you jump off a bridge if she wanted you to."

James smiled. "I always did want to try bungee jumping." And with that he ran for the barrier.

"That's not what I meant!" Called Sirius after him, also running at the wall full speed.

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Dropping her trunk into the heads compartment, Lily moved back onto the platform. She passed through the barrier separating platform 9 and 3/4 from the rest of the station and faced her mother. Both women looked different: thinner and older.

"So this is it mum!" said Lily..

"Your last year at school. I remember the first time you ran at that wall."

"I'd felt like such an idiot. Dad had…" Lily stopped her sentence.

Her mother smiled sadly. "He said that you couldn't do anything half way. You had to enter this new world with both feet and maybe a bruise or two if that wall was really a wall."

Lily nodded, her eyes welling up with tears. She stepped forward and let her mother envelope her in her arms.

"He was always so proud of you dear," said Mrs. Evans pulling her daughter away from her and looking into her face. "Please don't make yourself miserable."

Lily stood silently for a moment before lifting her hand, her pinky sticking out. "I'll promise if you do." Quietly they linked pinkies and kissed their thumbs, an old tradition between the women.

"You better get on the train. Wouldn't want your trunk going to school without you."

Lily hugged her mother once more. "I'll write as much as I can."

"You better," said Mrs. Evans releasing her daughter.

As Lily made her way to the barrier, Lily took one last look over her shoulder. Smiling softly at her mum, she walked through.

As the crowd milled around her, all of them completely oblivious to her daughter disappearing through a brick wall, Mrs. Evans looked up to the ceiling and whispered, "She'll make us proud Robert, just like she always has. She will make the whole world proud."

With that she headed towards the exit, passing a harried looking woman dragging a young boy.

As another wizard passed through the wall, the boy tried to point this out to his mother.

"A wall? Are you pointing at walls now Johnny? My god!" cried the mother in exasperation.

A few minutes later, Johnny was walking hand in hand with his Grandmother.

"Gran?" he asked her, his mother a few paces forward, pushing through the crowd forcefully. "Can I have an owl for my birthday? Like the people I saw walking through the wall between platform 9 and 10?"

His grandmother laughed softly to herself. "How old are you now John dear?"

"Seven and a half!" said Johnny excitedly.

"Well maybe in 3 and a half years then."

"Why do I have to wait?" whined Johnny.

His grandmother smiled widely. "Because my boy, I would rather not be the one to tell your mother. We'll let ol' Dumbledore deal with her. Come on, let's get into this stupid traffic. Personally, I cannot wait until you get your letter."

"What letter?"

"You'll see. Would hate to ruin the surprise!"

With that, the family bustled out into the parking lot just as the clock struck 11 and the Hogwarts expressed pulled out of the station blowing black smoke spirals into the air.

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The door to the heads compartment opened with a slight squeak. "I thought it'd be Remus," said Lily not looking up from her book.

"How'd you know it wasn't?" Ask James closing the door.

Lily closed her book and looked up with a smile, "Remus always beat me to the prefects compartment." James smiled back. "You, however, were not who I was expecting."

James quirked an eyebrow, "And who were you expecting? Snape?"

Lily looked at him suspiciously. "Would that matter?"

"Not particularly," James said quietly. He turned away to face the window and pulled a face. "But am I right?"

Pretending not to see his face reflected in the window, Lily shrugged. "I was expecting anyone with a prefect background really."

James smiled a bit to himself. "Yeah, I don't fit that category do I?"

"Not really no," Lily said pulling papers to her. "But I really shouldn't have been surprised though. You're the top boy in our grade and that's a big part of that decision. McGonagall loves you for your talent on a broom. Dumbledore adores you for your mischief, god knows why."

"Not to mention my dashing good looks," said James turning from the window to face her with a beaming smile.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I really have to stop saying nice things about you to yourself. It goes straight to your head."

"Lucky they make those high tech brooms that can support my egos weight huh?" James asked her cheekily.

"Very. Hopefully you have some room in that head of yours for this information." She held over a stack of papers. "Since you need to be able to tell the prefects what they're supposed to do and you've never had to do prefect duties yourself, I figured it'd be a good idea to have you skim the handbook before we meet with them. It's basic stuff really."

Taking the seat beside her, James looked over the papers for a few minutes as Lily dove back into her book.

"How've you…" James started.

"We meet the prefects in 5 minutes James, I suggest you keep your eyes on your papers."

"I still can't get over the fact that you call me James now."

Lily looked up from her book and gave him a solid glare. "Would it help if I started calling you potter again?"

James sighed. "I think I'll be fine with this. I've read everything but the Hogwarts rulebook which I've already read already."

"You have?" Asked Lily extremely surprised.

"Yeah," he said smiling. "Sirius and I read it front to back in first year and starting making a list of ideas on how to break them."

Lily resisted the urge to laugh. "Please tell me you guys exhausted those ideas."

"The ones from first year? Yeah!" Lily sighed in relief. "We're almost done with version 2.0 we made in 5th year." Lily smacked her forehead.

"James really…."

"Relax!" He rubbed her back gently. "Remus may not have been able to keep the marauders under control but I'll make sure we don't cross any big lines."

"But you're not promising to behave?" asked Lily looking exhausted.

James laughed. "Could I ever?"

Lily stood up and smoothed out her dress. "Well, for better or for complete chaos, let's get this started." And with that Lily led the way into the prefects' compartment, James close at her heels.

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"Was it just me or did they seem to be getting along?" Asked Jen Atkinson after leaving the prefect meeting

"Not just you." Mark answered. The two Ravenclaw 6th years walked slowly down the corridor hallway, peering through compartment windows. "Has the world ended?"

Jen looked out a window into the sky. "The sky isn't made of fire and there's no flying pigs."

Mark laughed. "This is just too weird."

"Do you think they planned it?" Mark looked confusedly at Jen. "You know, like they planned before they came into the room what to say, how to act, so as to seem like a strong head pairing."

Mark thought for a moment. "Sounds more plausible than those two actually getting along."

With that, Jen opened a compartment door and checked in on a group of 2nd years playing exploding snap.

!#$%&*()_)(*&^%$#!#$%^&*()(*&^%$#!#$^*()(*&^%$#!

"Any ideas for the Prefect Bathroom password?" Lily asked James, looking over the long list of things to do before arriving at Hogwarts.

"Um… how about… Lil. To be honest, I'm fresh out of ideas. Bibbity Bobbity just about drained me of my last piece of password creativity. How about a quick break?"

"But James, look how much more work we have to do!" Lily lifted more than half the pile.

James sighed. "Let me just go tell the boys not to expect me. I'll just meet up with them at the great hall."

"Ok," Lily said. "Mind swinging by my girl's compartment and telling them the same. I warned them through letter but they may not have believed it from me." Lily turned back to the papers.

"Don't you want to take a break and tell them yourself?" He asked.

Lily shook her head. "We'll never finish this by the time we get to school if I don't rush through section F while you're away. It's train prefect meeting report and rounds analysis. We should have the 5th year prefects back in 15 minutes with reports so I need to have section 1 and 2 of that section…."

"I get it!" James said looking at her wide eyed. "Slave on madam masochist." He bowed to her earning a laugh. He looked up at her smiling. She smiled back. "That's more like it. There's the smile I adore."

"Go tell our friends that we're up to ears in paperwork. Be back by the time the 5th years get here or I may have to write a co-head complain report and I really don't have the time to fill out anymore paperwork today."

James nodded and left with a grin on his face. "Always a work-a-holic that one." He said quietly to himself.

He walked down the hall and peered through the windows looking for the familiar brown bob cut and blonde locks of Lily's friends. Five cars down, he found them.

Knocking swiftly, he slid the door open. "Hello ladies."

"Hey Potter," said Hera kindly. "Looking for Lily?"

"Just delivering a message from her actually. She said she'll meet you up in the great hall. Swamped with head paperwork."

"She did warn us about that," said Maggie. "Isn't Remus helping her out?"

James laughed. "I expect he's currently napping in the marauder compartment. He never could stay awake on the train trips."

"He's not Head Boy?" Maggie asked confusedly.

James patted his pocket realizing he had never pinned his badge to his robes. Pulling it out, he pinned it next to his quidditch captain in.

"No way," said Hera bluntly. "I mean, not that you're not clever and all but really, don't you hold the record for most trophies polished in detention?"

"Actually, Sirius has that honor," James admitted, only a little bitter about the loss. "I however have pickled the most flobberworms. Despite that fact, I somehow still got the position."

"And Lily hasn't killed you yet?" Hera asked still looking shocked.

James raised an eyebrow. "As much as I would enjoy explaining my qualifications to you girls, Lily will kill me if I don't get back to the head cabin in 10 and I still need to tell the boys to meet me in the great hall. So with the greatest respect, I bid you ladies adieu."

Leaving the girls still in a state of slight shock, James bowed out of the compartment. He headed toward the car farthest from the head car, the consistent marauder car. It was wise for them to locate themselves there since it was less likely for the badge wearers to hear the odd blasts and bangs.

Peaking his head in, James was brief. "Meet you at the feast. Paperwork to the ears. Must run. Lily may kill if I'm late."

As the door closed behind him, Sirius turned to Peter and Remus. "See what I mean? Whipped. Didn't even give us time to tell him about the feast prank plan."

"It was his idea in the first place," Remus said returning to his prophet.

The door swung open again to reveal James. "And can you pull a tiny prank on Maggie and Hera? They were a little too disbelieving of my head boy position. Nothing big or annoying, maybe just make their trunks hop away from them. Thanks!" The door slip closed again.

Peter turned to Sirius. "Hasn't changed much has he? Pranking Lily's friends? Maybe he's not as whipped as you think."

"We're not turning their robes orange! We're doing a hopping charm," Sirius said off handedly and heading towards the door. "He's still whipped."

"Off to do the charm?" Remus asked.

"Yeah," said Sirius leaving the compartment.

As the door closed, Remus said to Peter. "And he calls James whipped."

"I HEARD THAT!" called Sirius from the hall.

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"And I made it!" Lily looked up from her book to see James standing in the doorway, his hands in the air as if he had just stuck a jump off a gymnastics vault.

She looked down at her watch. "And 3 minutes to spare! Congratulations." She held out 3 papers to him. "Just sign at the bottom of these and we'll be ready for the 5th years."

He signed them quickly and sat beside her. "And so now we have a whole two minutes to relax."

Lily sighed. "You can say that again." She leaned her head back against the seat. "My wrist is cramping up."

James grabbed section F and looked it over. "This looks fairly straight forward. I'll write down what the prefects report so you can have a break."

Lily looked over at him and looked at him. His hazel eyes were transfixed on the pages. His glasses reflected the lights from the sconces along the walls. His hair was going every which way. "Thanks James," she said genuinely.

Standing up, he lead the way into the prefects compartment, still staring at the pages, almost running into the wall. Lily laughed at him before following him into the compartment.

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An hour later, both the 5th and 6th year prefects had made their reports and were headed back to their respected compartments.

"That's it!" Said Mark. "They are definitely rehearsing it."

"I know!" Jen said. "James Potter running a prefect report meeting. This all just doesn't make sense."

"Do you think she jinxed him? Into… I don't know, being responsible?"

"Maybe a potion," Jen pondered. "More likely. She's brilliant in that subject."

"She's brilliant in every subject so that doesn't really help us much." Said Mark frustrated. "Why the heck is she Gryffindor? She's so smart! We'd have won the house cup last year with her in our house."

Jen nodded in agreement as they entered their friends' compartment for the rest of the ride.

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BAH! I know I haven't written anything in forever and that this is abnormally short for this story but I have very little inspiration for what happens on the train and am super picky about how this particular story is written.

This chapter was written ENTIRELY because of an AMAZING review I received someone that was both helpful and encouraging. Thank you so much Binka! You inspired me to continue this story.

More reviews like that and I may be able to finish this story some day!

As always, Review and give notes!

Melissa Z


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